when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
