So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Text me some of your sweat
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
