i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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