we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize