she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
two words...techno handjob
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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