I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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