The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
