Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So here I am, sexting at work.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
