Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
