All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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