why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize