her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Randomize
