sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
