Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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