i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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