Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
