The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
