How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
