Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
