He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
