You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize