Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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