hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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