Me too!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
