the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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