this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
