Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
