Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
