omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm passing your future prison.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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