Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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