hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
