I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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