my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
