I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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