But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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