How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
