haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
