So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
