i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize