Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
