would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
