i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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