he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
