I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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