OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i out mim tonsoeep
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
