worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
