This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
