He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
