i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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