Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
