So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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