Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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