the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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