you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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