How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
