She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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