is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
