Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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