I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
