I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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