i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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