Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
