I was born with a shot glass in my hand
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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