How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
