New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
