one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
