whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Boobs speak an international language.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize