It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I will pee on everything he values.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
