Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
