Just cropdusted the office
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
