EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
